Why Me?

At times, I chuckle at the idea of God choosing me to lead a church, as if there weren’t better candidates available.  Surely, we could find someone better than the divorced, single-parent of 4, who has a quick tongue, and is still learning to navigate life. 

I always knew that I was called to ministry, but I was thinking more along the lines of pastor’s wife, women’s ministry, youth ministry, or even hospitality.   I never imagined my call would be to the entire family unit, I never imagined I would be positioned to pastor. 

I find myself often asking, “God, are you sure?”

 And he continually answers in that still and calm voice, “yes.”

While my life has not unfolded the way that I hoped, I know that none of my story will be in vain.  God made no mistakes in placing this call on my life.  When he called me to pastor, he was well-aware of my personality, my tendencies, and my shortcomings.  While I feel broken and inadequate to serve in this capacity, when I look at scripture, I see time and time again that our God has a long history of using broken people to do extraordinary things.  God often chooses the unlikely candidates and uses them to lead nations!   

I like to think of Moses as the first foster kid in the bible, whose mother was unable to care for him, but by God's grace he was adopted into Pharoah’s family. Moses would later lead the nation of Israel out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharoah, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?" (Exodus 3:11). Like Moses, when I felt God’s call on my life, I also felt like God could find better candidates. And just like Moses, I believe firmly that God will equip me to fulfill His call on my life.  He started a good work in me and I believe He will finish it!

Two questions I had to ask in responding to my call:

1.       Why me?

2.      Does the world really need another pastor?

My quest to find the answers to these two questions helped me to better understand why God called me and what he needed me to do that wasn’t already being done.  Make no mistakes about it, people are broken and in need of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  However, the current generation, and the rest of our post-covid society, seem to be moving away from the physical church and finding less value in it than before.  Why? I believe people value authenticity.  They no longer want to pretend to be perfect or uphold some false standard on Sunday mornings.  People want to be in a space that is authentic and have genuine experiences with others.  Traditionally, church has not been the beacon of authenticity or a safe space to be yourself.  I believe people have lost interest in putting on a façade on Sunday mornings, when it’s just easier (and somewhat emotionally safer) to just stay home.

So why me?  I don’t do phony well, I never have before.  Yes, I believe that our God is a God of order, and things have to be done in decency.  However, I do not believe in exhausting yourself trying to please others by pretending to be perfect.  I do not believe in being one person on Sunday and a totally different person Monday-Saturday.  I feel God called me to help others see that He has intentionally adopted them into the family of God, being fully aware of their brokenness. I believe that the cross was enough to cover our sins, so while you may feel unworthy, I believe you are not.  The God we serve says, now there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the spirit (Romans 8:1).  The God we serve says you are forgiven. 

I believe God specifically called me to Parsons, Kansas to build a community of believers who live life together in an authentic way. 

Will you join us?